JONNYX AND THE GROADIES BRING TOTAL VIBES. AND CONSORT WITH LOATHSOME BEASTS.

Groadies

I'll be exploring two themes for this write up here: 1) lighting and 2) lycra.

I'm a sucker for a light show, so long as it relies mostly on crazy-ass spasm-inducing disco strobes, primarily. Nothing's worse than a not-very-nimble "now the singer is green" light rig. More like, "who gives enough of a fuck that a green light shone on a singer is somehow part of the budget for this show" which is typically what I end up asking about things like bad rock band lighting in 2014. But, all that to say, JonnyX and the Groadies, (JonnyX is correctly spelled, thanks) used a strobe masterfully, last time I saw them. Their intense blasts of spasmodic hardcore cum black metal just work really nicely with a strobe light that makes your eyes twitch.

Next up, lycra, the synthetic polymer skin-substitute that comes in all manner of shimmery colors and is worn professionally by cyclists and few others non-ironically. Nate Groadies is one of those rare dudes who can (unironically) step into a pair of lycra trousers, or a full body suit (I think) and proceed to rage bass.

Self-propelled Groad-Mobile

If you were around in the summer of 2004, you might have been lucky enough to see JonnyX and the Groadies at Jay's Upstairs with Sasshole, or at the all-ages (then, just) Total Fest matinee at the Boys and Girls Club on South Higgins. It was kind of a special deal, as I remember. They didn't, and really don't, tour per se. Just weren't interested in that part of being in a band. Anyhow, what the Groadies did do was twist off some completely intense and excellent keyboard/drum machine, guitar, bass and screams punk rock music. Think of Ghengis Tron, a little Lightning Bolt, maybe some ... er, Dimmu Borgir or something. Shit was so great. In 2010 they released their first LP of a roughly (then) fifteen year career. It's called "the Upheaval on Titan" and is excellent too. And, just last year, when two great defunct bands like Behead the Prophet No Lord Shall Live and the Need get together for a couple show,  guess who's on the Portland bill? JX:ATG, brah!

THE NIGHT IS DARK AND FULL OF TERRORS: THRONES!!!!!!

There's not much more that can be said about Joe Preston or Thrones. If you've never had the pleasure of witnessing the one-man wrecking crew lay sonic waste to a room, I don't know what's up with you. Maybe that's harsh, but Preston has been flexing this blissful sludge since 1994. Granted he took an extended hiatus, but Thrones touring schedule since 2010 has been as merciless as his sludgy insanity. He seems to be everywhere.

Maybe I say that "not much more can be said" because Thrones is a difficult project to describe. One charismatic, light-hearted grizzly bear, bookended by enormous cabinets, snuggled by machines, and comfortably harnessed to his bass orchestrates a series of distorted, feedback-riddled, ominous, surreal, gutteral, grinding (adj., adj., adj.) songs that offer enough ingenuity and complexity to satisfy any noise, sludge, metal, punk, arty music fan out there. Thrones trudges through its own landscapes, carving out tectonic plates of brutal awesomeness.

Thrones recordings are consuming in their own right. There's a groovy jazz aesthetic that courses through all the slow heaviness. Live, however, is how you need to experience this. It's imperative. From the first crack of sound, it's a visceral journey like no other. Preston effortlessly erects an eerie (some say "witchy") ambiance that envelops the audience. There's a subtle give and take, but the music wins in the end. Lured by the basslines, Preston pied-pipers the audience through an intricate set that pushes the bounds of experimentation without sacrificing the crusty edge that provides for most of the nightmarish joy of feeling Thrones live.

Thrones just came off of an east coast tour with Floor, (with some envy-worthy dates that included VAZ, and Torche), played a recent show with the Need and Fed Ex, and is playing a host of shows this spring and summer. There's probably a lot more out there. Who knows?

I jumped out of my chair, hugged my girlfriend, and high-fived our cats and dogs when I read the email exchange between Josh Vanek and Joe that landed Thrones for Total Fest this year. It was, perhaps, one of the most beautiful series of communications that I watched unfold. I'll say "don't miss this set" more than a few times between now and then, and if I see you there, I promise to hug you only once.  
 
The day is bright and beautiful and full of hope: