GAYTHEIST WANTS TO HOLD YOU

I swear it wasn't intentional, but we've seemed to hold off til the end on announcing the bands with the most ridiculous names. Rounding out the last few of our Total Fest performers are Portland's GAYTHEIST.

The amazingly named trio comes from Good to Die Records, the Seattle-based clearing house for the heavy sounds of the Northwest that has brought us TF vets like Sandrider and Constant Lovers. If the name wasn't an indication of their commitment to the absurd, these guys are a pretty off-the-wall bunch set on ruining your day.

A frenzy of maniacal drumming, guitar wizardry, and a hysteric, foul-mouthed (though very well-dressed) vocalist, Gaytheist churns out songs like "Post Apocalyptic Lawsuit" and "Wisdom of the Asshole" that have this whole Big Biz meets a 4-pack of Sparks and a packet of Pop Rocks sort of vibe. It's too bad that Fantasy for Adults on Main isn't on our list of venues for this year - it might just be the perfect place to witness this madness go down. Our whole all ages thing might be a problem though, so you kids will just have to settle for the Palace.